When You Literally Have The Runs

Sometimes you have the runs. Literally. I’m surprised it’s taken me so long to talk about my butt struggles. I have what I think is undiagnosed IBS. To be honest, I’m not sure what it is but my butt likes to party. It’s actually been quite a bit better since the pandemic because I realized that a lot of it is triggered by whatever they’re putting in restaurant food.

Last week something hit me and it hit me HARD. I was at an airbnb in Toronto and after a cloudy ass week it was finally sunny and all I wanted to do was run! My butt had different plans for me. I had wobbly guts and didn’t know if I trusted my body to keep it together while I ran.

I googled “can you run when you have the shits” and surprisingly, I didn’t get a lot of great information. What I did find out is that there’s apparently a thing called “runners diarrhea”. According to the article it’s something that can happen to runners, especially long distance runners and the cause isn’t clear. They suggest cutting back on sugar, alcohol and artificial sweeteners the day before your run and to stay hydrated. To be honest, this is just good advice in general! Oh, and caffeine can be a big factor.

How I looked the morning of my runs

Now that I think of it, I hadn’t been drinking for a few weeks and finally had some wine to celebrate the bad mans impeachment. Followed by a few cups of strong coffee in the morning and BOOM. I’ve got the runs!

So, if you find yourself in a situation where you have the literal runs due to diet, stress, running or whatever, give yourself a break. There’s nothing cute about shitting your pants.

As always, if this poopy situation persists, contact your doctor! Runners diarrhoea (why is there it sometimes spelled with an O?) like any diarrhea should not last for more than a few days!

As hard as it might be, cut back on the caffeine, booze, sugar, processed and restaurant food and give your body the nourishment it needs to have the best run possible. You don’t want the runs getting in the way of your runs!

On that stinky note, I hope you have the runs! The good kind! Not of the butt variety.

Until next time my friends.


Published by EatThisAndShutUp

I'm a comedian, actor, writer, amateur chef and professional eater. Host of "Viral Kitchen" on YouTube!

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